Greetings from the Supreme Dalek Empire,
Daleks have no concept for elegance, but in our supremity, we recognize the inferiority of these designs, and the flimsiness of the armour. We have stolen these artifacts belonging to the enemy of Daleks throughout time and space! In light of new archival footage, we have decided to present you with this primer on Time Lord armour.
Witness the 5 most coveted pieces of Whovian armor:
1. TARDIS Laplander 291500
This machine can only be powered by the Doctor, who always seems to show up in inconvenient times to stop our Extermination of those pesky humans. Scans reveal that this armor is constructed of 100% Time Lord acrylic, and that a self-destruct device is non-existent. You can find your own here.
2. Fourth Doctor Scarf 444330-444331
One of our most reviled and hated regenerations of the Doctor! Here is the long Fourth Doctor Scarf, used as a cowardly escape vessel and oddly enough, armor against the cold. Scans reveal this armor is constructed of 100% Time Lord acrylic. You can find your own here.
3. Doctor Who Fez/Bowtie Kit 421630
This Doctor was behind the cracks in the universe. It was confirmed! The Doctor’s 100% polyester Fez and Bowtie show that the Daleks aren’t the only beings without any sense of elegance. It has been scanned, assessed, and understood worthy of EXTERMINATION. You can find your own here.
4. TARDIS Scarf 44433
Fortunately scans of this armor do not detect a self-destruct device, only a construction of 100% Time Lord acrylic. This TARDIS Scarf is controlled only by the Predator of the Daleks; the Doctor and his companions! Therefore this must be EXTERMINATED! You can find your own here.
5. Red Dalek Beanie 291501
It is fitting we end with the Daleks and our superior armor. Here is our Red Drone Paradigm Dalek Beanie restored to us by The Doctor’s voice in the Progenitor! Does it surprise you that the Daleks have a concept of beauty? When scanned it is revealed to be constructed of 100% acrylic hate! EXTERMINATE! Join us and become a Dalek here.
BY DECREE OF DAVROS OUR MAKER WE ARE THE SUPREME BEINGS IN THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OTHERS MUST BE EXTERMINATED! THE UNIVERSE WILL BE CLEANSED!